What I Wanted to Say

As I entered Target today (with two kids in tow), I saw you leaving Target with your mom and little sister.  I knew I had to talk to you.  I just wondered if you would remember me at all. Your mom caught my eye, and I headed straight for you.  Of course you remembered me!  I loved the hug you gave me: it was not a half hug or a side hug; it was a bear hug!  We chatted about how much you have grown up and there wasn't much else said.  But, Courtney, I wanted to tell you so much.

I wanted to tell you about how I think about you almost everyday.  In my mind you are a cute, spunky third grader, not a mature, beautiful almost ninth grader!  I wanted to remind you about the time you asked me when my birthday was, and after I told you, how you came to class a few days later with a cookie cake that you had helped your mom make.  I wanted to ask you about Ally.  I wonder if you ever see her.  I wanted to tell you that you touched my life and my heart.  You made teaching so easy for me because you were always so sweet and loving towards me.  You helped shape me into the teacher that I always wanted to be!  I wanted to thank you for the essay you wrote about me when you were in sixth grade.  A copy of that essay came to me at a time when I needed it most!  I wanted to remind you of the books that I read to the class that school year.  I wonder if you remember all of the funny stories I used to tell the class about Kennedy.  After all, she was just a newborn that year.

I also had a lot that I wanted to ask you.  Do you ever think of me?  Did I leave a positive impression on your life?  I sure hope so!  Do you remember that soccer game that I came to? Have you ever had your heart broken?  Who are your best friends?  What do you want to be when you grow up?  Do you still love Auburn? Perhaps I will see you again soon and we can chat more...

As a teacher, every student who enters my classroom touches my life.  I am their mom away from home.  I spend day after day with my students, but at the end of each year, they leave me. Sure, I get visits from them again, but a hole is left in my heart by each one who leaves my classroom.  There are always those students, like Courtney, whom I taught my very first year of teaching, whose absence leaves bigger holes!  However, I am blessed to teach every student who enters my classroom, no matter how big the holes become.  I wouldn't change my job for the world!  I feel blessed each time a former (or present) student or parent of a student tells me a positive effect of their experience in my classroom.  It felt so wonderful to see Courtney today.  It was actually the answer to a prayer.  Thank you, God, for the small and the large blessings!